I don’t know about you, but my biggest hurdle is always myself.

It sounds like a quote on Instagram, I know, but it’s true. Ever wonder what your life could have been if you had always listened to the “still, soft voice” Jiminy Cricket sang about?        I do. That voice is never wrong but it can be really, really hard to hear.

This Saturday I jumped back into photography after a year of necessary stillness. A year of, “Who am I if I’m not a photographer? Do I still count as a person if I’m not even making money? Can I still do this?” My former client, and now fellow photographer in Austin, Arthur Marroquin recommended me to Milan Diaz, and it felt right. I was vaccinated. It was the kind of shoot I love to do, it would be outside, and her mom and I would wear masks. I said yes!

Then I started to freak out. I hadn’t done this in a year, and self-doubt crept in on little cat feet. My poor husband was my stand-in model and tried to offer me advice to which I said, as I pointed my finger in his face, (so he tells me, I have no recollection of it) “YOU don’t get to say ANYTHING!” Stress does not bring out the best in me. After reassurances from my family that I can do this, it's what I love, I finally realized that all I could be was myself. That’s it. It was what got me here and it’s all I know how to be.

Milan and her sweet mom, Selena, came and we had a ball! From the second we started it felt like magic. Milan (great name, right?) was a joy to work with and her mother was perfect in every way - assisting when needed, and quietly standing by when we were on our own. They reminded me of who I am. Milan’s energy fed into my own and back and forth and by the end - well, I didn’t want it to end but it was only supposed to be for two headshots.

In the next few months of stops and starts, of new beginnings and old rememberings, it’s a time to use what we learned during this hibernation; this time when we listened to that “still small voice” in our heads if only because we had already watched everything on Netflix. Listen! I hear it. It’s saying, “Just be you. It’s what makes you special.” Jiminy Cricket was right all along.